It was a chaotic Monday morning after a weekend storm had flooded homes across town. Crews at a local restoration company were loading up trucks for a major mitigation job. Tensions were high. The manager—clearly feeling the pressure—looked at one of his techs and snapped, “If you had done your job right on Friday, we wouldn’t be in this mess.” 

You could feel the air leave the room. The technician’s face went red. No one made eye contact. The message was loud and clear, and it wasn’t just about the mistake. It was about who held power and who didn’t. 

In that one careless moment, the manager didn’t correct a process or make an improvement. Instead, he shut down a team member and, in doing so, he cracked the foundation of trust.

Public Criticism: The Fastest Way to Quiet a Team

Let’s call this what it is: public shaming. And while it may feel like “just being direct,” it rarely lands the way we think it will. In fact, it often backfires. What was intended to be leadership in the moment is usually just venting with an audience, resulting in damage that ripples through the team. 

It crushes morale. People stop taking the initiative when the price of a mistake is public embarrassment. They’ll stop sharing ideas. They’ll stop stepping up. You don’t get extra effort from people who are in damage-control mode. 

Tina, one of the most innovative contents specialists on her team, once came up with a better, faster way to pack and label. After being criticized in front of her peers over one misstep, she stopped suggesting anything. “It’s not worth it,” she said. “I’m not sticking my neck out again.” 

It breaks trust. Public callouts don’t just hurt the person on the receiving end; they send a message to everyone else, too. That message? “You’re next.” And once a team starts managing to avoid embarrassment instead of aiming for excellence, you’ve got a culture problem, not a performance problem. 

After Luis, a junior estimator, got ripped for a misquote during a team meeting, his coworkers stopped asking each other for feedback. No one wanted to be linked to a mistake. The result? More mistakes, less collaboration and an office vibe thick with fear. 

It sparks defensiveness. Once embarrassment kicks in, the brain goes into survival mode. In that moment, nobody’s learning. They’re just trying to escape. What may have been planned as a teaching moment becomes a shutting-down moment instead. 

“I honestly didn’t hear a word after he said my name,” one tech confessed. “I was just counting the seconds until it was over.”

Why Good Managers Criticize Publicly

So why does this pattern keep repeating? Maybe it’s a mix of stress and misplaced urgency. Restoration is fast-paced. Clients are emotional. Jobs are unpredictable, and it’s easy to feel like there’s no time for soft skills. But let’s be honest—the real issue isn’t just urgency. It’s that many leaders don’t realize the weight their words carry in those heated moments. Or worse, they do know and they rely on public callouts as shortcuts, thinking it’s faster to yell at one in front of many, so everyone gets the message. That’s not leadership. That’s lazy management dressed up as efficiency. 

Here’s the truth: calling people out in a group doesn’t save time—it costs it. It costs morale, quality and ultimately, retention. (And if you’re wondering why you can’t keep good people, this might be part of the answer.) Even worse, many leaders confuse public correction with accountability, as if calling someone out proves they're holding the line. 

Real leadership isn’t about pointing fingers in front of a crowd. It’s about pulling people forward—even when they’ve messed up. Great leaders use these moments not to punish but to elevate; to show someone what they’re capable of and help them rise to it. It’s the difference between managing tasks and developing people; between being a boss and being a builder of leaders. Quiet, intentional correction builds more growth than any public callout ever could.

The Better Way: Correct Privately, Coach Thoughtfully

Let’s rewind that Monday morning. What if the manager had waited until the huddle ended and then said, “Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?” 

Here’s what a better approach looks like in action:

1. Start in private, stay respectful.

Feedback should never feel like a trap. Pick a quiet place and frame the conversation with curiosity, not accusation. “I noticed something went sideways on Friday—can we walk through what happened?” This shows respect, invites dialogue and defuses defensiveness. If you’re frustrated, take a pause before the talk. Nothing productive starts with a tone of attack.

2. Focus on the fix, not the flaw.

Don't make it personal. Talk about the action, not the person. “Friday’s loadout missed a few essentials, which slowed us down on Monday,” lands way better than, “You always forget stuff.” Then shift to the solution: “How can we make sure this doesn’t happen again?” Now you’re building, not blaming. You’re solving, not scolding.

3. Offer support, not ultimatums.

Sometimes the mistake isn’t just about the employee, it’s about the process. Does the team have what they need to succeed? How much better for a manager to ask: “What do you need from me to make that happen?” Feedback should be used as a two-way street and a way to help remove obstacles in order to help someone excel.

4. Follow up.

One conversation won’t fix everything. Circle back later to ask how it’s going. Reinforce the win if they’ve corrected the behavior. Offer help if they’re still stuck. These follow-ups prove that you’re invested, not just policing.

What Happens When the Approach is Shifted

When a manager leads with respect instead of shame, something wild happens: people lean in. They own their mistakes. They offer solutions. They bring their ideas, energy and commitment to the table. 

Growth starts being managed instead of fear. A space is created where people bring their best thinking, not their best defense mechanisms. And yes, mistakes still happen, but they happen less often. And when they do, people learn from them instead of hiding from them.

Coach Behind the Scenes, Lead Out Front

It takes self-control to take a pause and coach in private, especially when you’re slammed. Public corrections might feel fast, but they’re not effective and end up creating more problems. 

The best leaders aren’t the loudest in the room. They’re the ones who make people better quietly. Behind closed doors. With a calm tone and a clear goal with the intention of growing the employee, not making an example of them. 

If you’re a manager, the next time someone on your team screws up, don’t broadcast it to prove a point. Instead, pause and choose intention over impulse. Pull them aside, ask good questions and listen. Then lead them forward. 

That’s where real leadership happens—not on a stage, but in the moments no one sees, when you choose to lead instead of criticize.